PLEASE ADOPT US!!!!

After a whole month of inactivity mainly due to the fact that i've been wasting my time trying to speak with the $%&/%·! bureaucracy (¿?) of the prestigious University of Manchester, I'm writing again after my well deserved long weekend in Cornwall.

I must say, I wasn't actually expecting the weekend to go nice, I didn't have too much expectations from a retired couple who volunteered for a programme called Host. HOW WRONG I WAS!!!!!!!! It was funny that when we got out of the pseudoplane (are the ones with propellers called planes anyway??? should they still exist in an era where you can actually see the Earth from the stratosphwhateverosphere?... the link used to be there i guess they don't do it anymore)... anyway, after getting off the pseudoplane, the first person I saw waiting in the waiting lounge was an old grumpy lady. My first thought was to run away and get on the next plane going anywhere, but then I realised that she wasn't the host, and that the person waiting for us had a small resemblance with any of my friend's dads... not old, still active and actually fun.

The weekend consisted of trying to keep on with the hosts, a retired couple of about 60 something who actually were more active than us (J & I). We managed to see most of the great places to visit in Cornwall, we had wonderful food (really posh really good really countrylike homecooked handpicked). We went to a place where they still sold handcrafted goods from England!!! (never thought those kind of activities...i.e. handcrafting things... were possible in this turbodeveloped country).

Anyway, it was the greatest among the greatest experiences i have had in England so far, and the couple actually invited us to come along and visit again anytime (when they have time...) Great, now I know that British Hospitality exists and that I should go out once in a while trying to know more people from other places instead of being president of the Mexican society ;)

sEVerELy bLUe

Today's post is about other ways to turn blue, it's going to be short since i'm not quite in the mood. So there it goes:

1. You could be a yellow shirt owned by this girl who could swear on his dead bulldog's grave that blue jeans will not, never ever, do the nasty action of undyeing (¿?) themselves and leaving a huge blue spot in your (you are the yellow shirt remember?) belly. You could then (still being the yellow shirt) have this girl owner who'd try all to undye (¿?) you even using chlorine which is known (by anybody who has been washing his/her own clothes for a long period of time) to leave you without any colour. So after that, you'd still be yellow but with this very nice blue spot in your belly with a white halo (nimbus) surrounding it.

OR...

2. You could be the girl who doesn't know how to wash different colours separately... or who actually does know but didn't have the delicacy of opening the already operating washing machine which was full of light colours and instead put the yellow shirt (yeah, now you're not the yellow shirt) in the blue jeans washing machine... (returning to the first sentence) you could be that girl and write a paper for a coming conference which is actually a crappy conference (and the paper is due in 2 days)... then let your supervisor proof read it and realise he's not gonna do it because he's on vacation and then let somebody else (from whom the commentaries really really matter) read it and realise (by yourself) that the paper was not good at all in the first place. And then depress and eat chocolate which you actually don't have and can't go n buy at the store in front because it's already 10 pm and it's closed... and you're fat. Then you'd really turn blue.

Salam

how to turn extraordinarily blue

Well, I guess this is one of the crucial questions that i should be solving when my blog is called extra-terrestrially blue. I think I thought of that question yesterday when remembering my mom. Being so far away and so incredibly immature (as I've been recently described), when I get scared (...like when there's a monster below my bed...or when the f***ng switch of my flat makes that damn buzzing noise and I don't know why, or when the damn scallies are outside my flat being nasty) I hug my bear (yeah! I don't care the immigration officer's opinion when he asks "you do study a PhD right?" after getting a glance of my Fuzzy bear) and start thinking about my mom. When I was little, so little I was barely visible (as you can witness how little I still am) my mom used to tell me stories when trying to make me sleep without using chloroform, valium or any other non-admited way of sleeping children... One of those days when she was R-E-A-L-L-Y tired and I was particularly annoying, and she had already ran out of reused stories, she started talking about the story of why my (then favourite, now disappeared) blue carebear was blue. It went something like this:

Mom: "Once upon a time, there was this really nice, easy going, friendly bear who liked very much to sleep (thus the name sleepybear). Although he was very nice he also was quite stubborn and always wanted to do his will. He lived in a cabin in the middle of the forest with another friend. Both of them were very beautiful brown bears (such as bears should be) and were very good friends. Surrounding the cabin there was a bush of very nice blue berries which were nourished by the bigger bear (the one that wasn't sleepy bear)....... Then, you have to integrate x squared from zero to..."
Me: "Huh????!!!! Mooooooooooooooooom you're sleeping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mom: "Wha..? where? oh, sorry.... Ok, where was I? Oh, ok... the bigger bear loved his blueberries and was taking care of them for the annual marmalade fair in town, he was aware of how..... the circumpherence of a circle can be calculated as...."
Me: "Moooooooooooooooooom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mom: oh yeah... Ok, the bigger bear was aware of how much sleepy bear wanted to get a taste of the blueberries, and always reminded him that he would have to wait until they were ripe enough to eat.... because when the electric resistance is calculated by the sine of the.....
Me: "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! what??????????"
Mom:" oh, sorry.... Then there was one day, when bigger bear went out to get some groceries. As usual he reminded sleepy bear not to eat the blueberries because they weren't ripe enough. Anyway, he went to the grocery store and left sleepy bear. Sleepy bear was really trying not to look at the blueberries which could be seen from his window, but he couldn't help it and he went out to get some and calm his apetite..... which by the way can be described as an hyperbolic trajectory...."
Me: "damn!"
Mom: "....was I sleeping? ok, well, as you know, blueberries when they have still not ripened have a very different colour which is kind of turquoisish or acqua, and that is because they haven't become completely blue. Well, after eating the unripened blueberries, sleepy bear started feeling a little ill, and then he realised that something funny was happening to him, he was turning blue!!!!! Of course, when he came back, bigger bear realised that sleepy bear had eaten a big amount of his precious blueberries. He was not mad, he was actually amused by the fact that sleepy bear was now blue, he cared for sleepy bear while he felt ill (which was about a week....."
Me: "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

So I didn't get to hear what happened after that... and of course my mom didn't remember anything the next day because she was making all up. And that is one of the ways one can turn blue, and also that is the reason why I believe that acqua is a kind of blue, when everybody else thinks (wrongly) that it's actually a kind of green.

Additional comments about this post:

• Yes, I did have a carebear which is cheesy, and I don't care
• Yes, I do have a fuzzy bear with which I usually sleep and which I hug vehemently when scared.... I don't care
• Yes, I know I souldn't be telling this kind of stories because they're cheesy... I don't care
• Yes, I'm immature... I'm trying to deal with it.... I'm also trying to deal with global warming and can't do anything about it.
• Yes, I haven't finished my damn article which is due next week.... I do care... so I'll start right now.

EL UNGÜENTO VETERINARIO DE MI TÍA

hi dee hoo little precious creatures of creation (cr*p that's what happens when f***ng abc 1 in freeview doesn't show anything else than Home Improvement)... today we'll talk about an ointment old as life itself used by my parents to give their children (me and my siblings of course) a sense of safety and prompt healing, the miracle performing "ungüento veterinario de la tía" (veterinary ointment of the... aunt?... whose aunt anyway!!!???) created by the world famous "Ordoñez" laboratories in México city. First of all, I have to confess that, although the fact that the name said "veterinary ointment" seemed a little odd, i have never doubted of it's prestige, curative powers and world fame until I came back to Manchester and my really funny former housemates, who by the way had never heard of anything like it, started mocking me for having a veterinary ointment. It never ocurred to me that, the fact that you could only find it in veterinary shops was because it was meant to use it as a VETERINARY OINTMENT!!!!

Anyway, I am writing about it today because while rubbing this curative thing on a bruise that I made myself by skating and trying to stop using the technique of sliding on the floor (which by the way only works on ice) (long sentence now, difficult to follow... I don't care) I read on the label of its very vintage aluminium tin, that it is used as "auxiliary to swelling caused by bruising, in small wounds" and that it is used to avoid "bacterian contamination and to promote cicatrization" (does that word even exist? actually it does according to babylon).

So, all this time, a lot of time to be precise, I have been using an ointment to heal my bruises and other muscular pains which is actually intended to promote cicatrization!!!!

And that my friends, seemed funny enough to write it down in this blog which (now it is official) nobody cares to read but me!!!!

Still I must say that the "ungüento" is either the best placebo ever, or it really works on bruises, because you could never beat the soothing feeling it leaves after having rubbing it. I strongly recommend it!

WANNA GO HOME!!!!

Hum... it's just been 2 weeks since I arrived from beautiful Mexico, yet, I wanna go back! Maybe it's just the gloomy weather, or the fact that PhD is proving to be the best way to lose valuable work experience. I don't know. I just miss the fact of going out to Coyoacan (my-kind-of-town) and having some "papas de carro" (perhaps a filthy version of fried potatoes such as the much processed Walkers). I miss the fact of looking out of the window every now and again and knowing that even if the weather is gloomy, it's not going to stay that way THE WHOLE YEAR (except perhaps for 2 wonderful but not long lasting weeks in the middle of the summer). I miss the fact of eating green salsa whenever you are in the mood of going out and purchasing it from the "tortilla on the bicycle" guy. I miss being able to call my sister "naca" just because she's bugging me to change the channel to see "La fea más bella" (The Mexican version of the Colombian soap that the US guys remade in Ugly Betty).

But anyway, grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, I would probably be complaining about not having a job if I was there ;) .... or not.... anyway. Hopefully this time it's not going to be a year before I see clearer skies and before I eat tortillas again, even if they are now really expensive because the f******ng gringos decided to use maiz as their new source of fuel and the f******ing government decided to help the f*******ing corporations so that they sell tortillas cheaper than the small "tienditas de la esquina".

MISS HOME!!!!!!

ode to the wonderfully great Marías cookies

Again trying to do my PhD, and of course, again not able to concentrate, as you can witness by this entry. I just wanted to exalt, praise and extol (those where the words I found in babylon for what i wanted to do) the really individual taste of the Marías cookies. People here in Manchester (who of course know the Marías cookies) have told me that the McVitties digestive cookies taste the same.... well, these guys are incredibly W-R-O-N-G!!!!! This evening I had this really uncomfortable hole in my stomach, the kind of hole that you cannot fill with a fruit ('cause of the boring taste) but that you shouldn't fill with a toast (flour products have proven that they make you swell). What could I do? And then it stroke me: I've brought Marias cookies!!!!!!!!! You can't imagine how different from the McVitties they taste!!!! It's just a shame that they don't sell them here... together with all the delicious things you can get in Mexico.


Darn! why do Anglo-saxon people have decided to live with that thing they call food for their whole life!!!!!!

Umbrella wind-surfing

Behold the rush of new times brings us new and different ways to express ourselves, different tasks for new generations..... new daredevils take steps beyond what everybody thought possible leaving us perplexed with awe upon new sports which we never thought possible ..... such is the case of sports never heard of before as ultimate (which is actually.... not new according to wikipedia... but was never heard before by me.... until la vas told me about its existance) and the other sport in which one has to cross an entire city or place with as less jumps as possible... for which of course I won't find out the name unless one of you, assiduous readers can tell me. Well, the point I wanted to make was that, yesterday after struggling to open my umbrella to cover myself from the copious rain that falls in Manchester during this time of the year, I realised that somebody might as well come up with the idea of umbrella wind-surfing.

Think of it! wouldn't it be cool to have some reward for managing to keep your umbrella in it's shape while trying to walk in a decent manner through some windy town like Manchester without wanting to hit the person next to you in dispair for not having achieved the ultimate goal which is to stay dry?

The rules are simple, you have to try to open it, without having it taken or turned upside down by the wind. Then, you have to manage to keep it that way for as long as your journey takes.

Sounds simple right? Well... it's not. Let's say that first you have to open it having it facing the wind (opposite to its flow anyway). This may require some skill from your part because the wind shifts direction every now and again.... and it is impossible to determine when it will change, so, you might think that you've achieved the first part of your task when suddenly you see your umbrella flying in the direction of the wind... or worst! being turned upside down!!!!!

Second task to accomplish.... you have to keep walking trying to avoid the wind taking it or turning it upside down, and OF COURSE, you don't have to get wet. Now this can be quite a task when the rain is not exactly coming from up there but more like from your left.... or your right.... or from the floor!!!!! (believe me, it can happen if you combine a bus and a puddle next to you). Then try the keeping dry part, receiving rain from God knows where and carrying some bags, walking on high heels, trying not to miss the pavement and at the same time not to punch somebody else's eye...... Well, that would be for the advanced league.....

Anyway.... I would support the idea of somebody coming up with some rules for this new and challenging sport.... maybe if we get many people we could form a league.... I mean if there's enough public for dodge ball (ñoñochbol).... there should be enough people for this kind of stuff.

Having made my point, I proceed to publish this nonsense, hoping that all of you who are bored from work or reports or whatever..... can enjoy some minutes of my babbling about umbrellas.

Oh, first, before I go, I've just heard out on the street a car horn which sounded like a pesero, what are the odds????!!!! Oh... how I miss my City, chilangolandiacitymailov.

Cheerio!

Why guys are more than ok

Today I helped a friend to choose the engagement ring he's gonna give to his fiancée. I have never done this, and accepting the fact that I always find it quite uncomfortable to do something like that for somebody else.... (considering that I would like somebody else to do it for me).... it was a pretty nice experience which made me realise why guys are more than ok.

This could seem contradictory from my really pointless and bitter point of view of "todo hombre es un patán hasta que demuestre lo contrario.... y aún después de demostrarlo, todavía es dudoso que no lo sea" (every man is a jerk until he proves different... and even after having proving it, it is still possible that he is still a jerk). Probably it is, but, I still find what I witnessed today, a very good example of why they are ok.

Well the tale goes like this: We were looking for a nice ring for the fiancée, when I realised the guy didn't have a clue of what finger size she was. Then I thought.... well that's just how men are, shouldn't be surprised..... but then I started thinking how he asked me before for one of my rings to try it... and he concluded that she should be the same size as my pointing finger (is it the index?) because when he grabbed her hand and "borrowed" her rings these would fit exactly the same as my ring was fitting.

Then I realised how nice it is when the guy you like starts playing with your rings.... although they usually end up rolling on the dirty floor of a busy cinema and how they are cute enough to try to find them in the middle of the dark having pieces of popcorn or who knows what other crap stucked in their elbows. And how cute it is that eventhough they have an impediment for remembering data such as finger numbers or more than five colours, they have a brain large enough to store small details such as "ooohh, i remember, when I played with her ring.... it barely fitted in my middle finger.... and she got so upset because whe had to take it off using soap..."

So, this takes me to my other basic principle about guys.... "un hombre siempre será un niñito juguetón sin importar la edad que tenga..." (a guy will always be a playful kid no matter his age). And this is why I think guys are more than ok, because they make us laugh being so childish, so they kind of counterbalance the emotional revolution in our heads.

Ok, although the photo doesn't seem to have sense.... well that's the point.... how guys usually behave as kids but they are really funny!!! so that picture is a demonstration of what a 20 something guy can do when bored while you talk about how you think that the world should be a better place and blah

Anyway, I'm supposed to be writing for my appointment with my supervisor but I'm too high on the flu to be doing that.

Cheerio!

Power ballads

Ok... first of all, who came out with that stupid name for those terribly cheezy songs from the 80's??? why POWER??? isn't it awful already having POWER crappy things such as the power rangers???? anyway... although terribly cheezy.... I guess we all have taken refuge in those songs after being dumped by/having dumped somebody.... or not.....

Anyway, today's post is to ask somebody... anybody.... COULD ANYBODY EXPLAIN ME WHAT THE HELL IS MEAT LOAF TALKING ABOUT THAT HE WON'T DO? I guess it should be simple if you just listen to the lyrics but I usually don't pay too much attention to details so when I was watching the 50 hitlist of power ballads I kept wondering what Meat Loaf won't do. His "I'd do anything for love" video was number 2, and surprisingly "total eclipse of the heart" was number 1. Actually that last video is quite awful, have you ever seen it? Apart from the fact that all the coreographers don't seem to belong to any of the scenes, why did the producers/directors or whoever decided to put somebody with two glowy patches on the eyes whenever somebody says "turn around bright eyes"? It looks just as Frodo when he acted in Sin City (ha! I know his name is not Frodo... but I guess he'll die with the label)

Ok... for those of you who have bad memory like me, my only aim for this post is to ask what is it that meat loaf won't do for love.... and if he would do anything for love, why he can't do that (whatever he's talking about)? And please, leave your comments... is my English that awful???? I've just received feedback that it is.... but I guess it could be worst couldn't it?

Cheerio!

Extra-terrestrially blue :)

Hi everybody.... new blog.... awesome! was getting tired of that freaking msn space. Now I guess there will be less comments (less than the 2 comments every 6 months that I received).

Anyway, until I learn how to move in here, i'll just leave you with some of the extra-terrestrially blue guy photos.... the latest anyway.

Cheers